What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 18.06.2025 07:57
I will be 64.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
Democrats be honest, how many of you were wishing that Musk rescue space flight blew up?
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Do you know a good lawyer joke?
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Have you ever had sex with your mother-in-law? If so, how was it and did your wife ever find out?
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
My family never makes their pension either.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
What exactly is female squirting? Is it only urine or a combination of liquids?
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
I was scared of men, in general
As i do to all so called friends.?
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
And i lived it daily.
I was 9 years of age.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
Why are black women the largest unmarried group in the United States of America?
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
I was very sick at this time too.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
What are the best mattress options for a comfortable night's sleep in Pompano Beach?
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
When she asked me how she looked .
We all went to grammer schools
I have no regrets .
Fantasy Baseball SP Roundup 6/15: The Long Awaited Brayan K.O. - Pitcher List
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
We were not on the streets..
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
I never cut or harmed myself..
She was in good health!
This is how, and why children get BPD.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
I think the readers, may guess!
He knew the spot.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
But ive been too sick for many years..
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
So, i spoilt her more .
She loved him until the end.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
So whats the point in blame.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
One cannot live in the past .
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
She wouldn,t have been !
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
Especially a lifetime of it.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
I couldn’t, believe it.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Who then, do I blame.?
Why did i forgive my father ?
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
But, we were locked up after school.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
I know ,a lot about trauma.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
This is soul school!.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Would this be the day?
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
The only rule us 5 kids had .
Ive learnt so much.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
My life is so biszare .
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
What did i know ?
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
I write beautiful poetry .
She married twice! .
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
(And it was in our own minds.)
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
I said to her
On the 31st of Jan this month .
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
But it wasn’t much.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
She found it foreign!.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
He resisted the act ,that day.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
Im still living with it.
It was going to be , some day.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
I waited trembling.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
Put me off passion for life!!
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Was to survive, this bastard.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Comes on , in middle age.
I could never make a relationship work though!
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
All the time i was locked up.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
I was seconnd youngest,
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
I don,t even have a pension.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.